Don't get mesmerised by the title, I am neither deploying female hormones in anyone, nor is it an experiment, or some scientific hypocrisy! It's my experience about women in general, some weird, some loveable.
One thing, which might have been proven, women are born to talk, gossip and murmur. Most of these siddhis, of understanding women, were gained by me while I was in a serious relationship with my ex for an honourable 3.5 years. I was sentenced in a relationship on 29th February 2005. Because it was a leap year, with the help of my lawyers, my friends, and the judge, my girlfriend, the date was shifted to 1st of March 2005 and I was given the statement at 6.15pm at Balgandharva Rang Mandir(BRM), Pune. I know, you were expecting some romantic place, but unfortunately it was BRM. I was sentenced to indefinite relationship, until the possibility of marriage, when I said those three lovely words. I wish those were "Mera Bharat Mahan".
The years weren't as bad as I made them sound. They had quarrels and fights, love and caressing, jokes and laughter, ethics and manners as well. Talking about ethics, I remember that girls are very particular about how their boyfriend present's himself in public. I was always poked or pinched while, eating without worldly concerns, driving too fast or too slow, talking nonsense to anyone in front of her, doing nothing, having dressed too dull or too glittery. I still remember a big quarrel of ours on my eating habits, which resulted in 3 days of mental agony. We were eating "paani puri" together, and she ordered a last dish for herself, through me, which never went to her. I gulped the entire dish, in my own dreams, not realising the world, as if I've been starving for a decade. Then I realised the quantity of my mistake and the quality of quarrel to come.
A lot of girls I've befriended possess extreme characteristics. A couple of them are career oriented, bold and stern in their decisions, which usually are hard to impress. One of my friend is comfortable in not crossing her comfort zone. One job for life time, no intention of change or shift, same road to office, same vehicle, same people around, same daily routine for years. How is it possible for one to be so sternly dumb, highly boring, working in a creative environment? (being a classmate, she was a graphic designer too). I am attracted to girls who are bold, decisive and career oriented. My ex was the same, hence I felt for her. I have another friend of mine, who's bold, decisive and, instead of career, she's boyfriend oriented. She likes to change boys like, disposable nappies.
I used to be a flirt in my college days, playing pranks with my girl friends. Some girls knew it was just a prank but sometimes it used to get serious. A few girls revealed their feelings for me, a few didn't talk after that, and a few were on the verge of slapping me, until I told them that it was just a prank. Neither was I a hunk of the college, nor was I rich. I came to college on a grey coloured Bajaj's scooter, of my dad. So, only if it was a time in 70s I would have been a hip, girls running behind my scooter. Many of my girl friends never liked sitting on pillion's end. They reasoned it as being uncomfortable, but I knew, they'd certainly occupy the seat if it was a lavish motorbike. So, the verse, "girls like cash and bikes more than the person" is absolutely true. The ones who'd deny this might be in true love or something. Later on I bought a new motorbike, and each of my girl friends wanted a ride on it. Although I felt revengeful, I fulfilled theirs wishes. For one, most memorable event in my relationship, I still respect my ex. That was, while buying a new bike, I faked her that I'd be buying an ordinary bike, showing budgetary concerns. She had a simple answer and she said it without a single thought, that, I was more important to her than any materialistic thing.
A few things I've understood about women are: They expect a lot from guys. They never let out their expectations, and we have to understand those. They want a guy to be understanding, caring, supportive and entertaining at times. Most girls, like aggressive guys, even if the guy resembles a blade of grass. "Girls like shopping", is not true with me as I haven't had a deadly experience of it, even my ex wasn't shopping savvy. And, last but not the least thing I'd say is important dates. Guys who tend to forget these dates are vulnerable to a heart break.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Life in London
28th Sept, 2009. Nawathe kaka came to pick me up at kings cross station. While his struggle for parking, Vikram was inside the station, waiting to guide me to the car, I was struggling to carry two big suitcases and a guitar. Finally, we made it to the car. I was cheesy, being happy more than thankful, to have saved 50 quid on taxi home.
Life's been cheerful since I've moved at 14, Layfield road. I exercise, jog and work regularly. I've been roaming around London on weekends. I also met old friends, who had been in London for a while. Laughter and Jokes are "one of 5 a day" routine. Nonsense, makes sense and illogical ideas stroke unstoppable laughter, times in a day.
To take an instance, we watched the movie, Sholay, which was 16th time for me, and just thought, what if "Gabbar singh" and "Thakur" were gays? So the movie would have a prologue, Gabbar and Thakur had a break-up before the train action sequence resulting in hatred, consequently expanding into a 3.5 hrs long movie of conspiracies and drama. Another thing was - if Thakur was never taught horse riding he'd never go at Gabbar's place to get his hands chopped off for nothing. Basically, he'd never be able to catch Gabbar, and Gabbar would never exterminate his family in revenge.
Life is seriously casual these days. We are used to laughing in the midnight and one fine day, actually yesterday, our right side neighbour came and told Nawathe kaka that kaka's nephew, who just arrived a couple of days back, laughs loudly in the midnight and she could hear it. We had another reason to laugh at this.
I moved to London for opportunities, and I learnt a lot of things. Those are, making flour, cooking chapatis, usage of different masalas, creating gravy, chicken curry, architecture of Brent cross shopping centre, London tube travel, buses home after midnight drinks, etc.
Life's been cheerful since I've moved at 14, Layfield road. I exercise, jog and work regularly. I've been roaming around London on weekends. I also met old friends, who had been in London for a while. Laughter and Jokes are "one of 5 a day" routine. Nonsense, makes sense and illogical ideas stroke unstoppable laughter, times in a day.
To take an instance, we watched the movie, Sholay, which was 16th time for me, and just thought, what if "Gabbar singh" and "Thakur" were gays? So the movie would have a prologue, Gabbar and Thakur had a break-up before the train action sequence resulting in hatred, consequently expanding into a 3.5 hrs long movie of conspiracies and drama. Another thing was - if Thakur was never taught horse riding he'd never go at Gabbar's place to get his hands chopped off for nothing. Basically, he'd never be able to catch Gabbar, and Gabbar would never exterminate his family in revenge.
Life is seriously casual these days. We are used to laughing in the midnight and one fine day, actually yesterday, our right side neighbour came and told Nawathe kaka that kaka's nephew, who just arrived a couple of days back, laughs loudly in the midnight and she could hear it. We had another reason to laugh at this.
I moved to London for opportunities, and I learnt a lot of things. Those are, making flour, cooking chapatis, usage of different masalas, creating gravy, chicken curry, architecture of Brent cross shopping centre, London tube travel, buses home after midnight drinks, etc.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
"पापी पेट" - the stomach and the evolution of humans
Since the earth evolved, every living being is striving for food. The time after the evolution of humans and apparently science, the concept of biological balance was evolved, which stated the difference between carnivorous and herbivorous animals. Herbivorous eat herbs and carnivorous eat the poor herbivores, to maintain the so called biological cycle. So, its this hunger, which all the living beings have, forces us to do kill and eat meat, fish and other food.
I am glad, that we've not actually started eating the crispy currency notes instead of food. They would be categorised as 'moneyvorous'. Just imagine how the diet of the rich and poor would be. The rich would eat only, 500 or 1000 Rupees notes and the poor would extend their living on coins. The middle class would chew the fivers, tens, fifties and hundreds. India would have more to eat than the US or UK due to the currency difference. Foreigners would come to india just to convert their dollars or pounds into more money and satisfy their hunger.
Recently, man has evolved into 'junkivorous', which is a new phenomenal evolvement of humans. This was discovered when people were striving for money and comforts, than just food. The evolvement of 'junkivorous' mammals can be stated when the human race discovered delicious pizzas and burgers. Increment of cheese and deep fried food in these made the evolution much easier.
These junkivores have a different physique than the normal humans. They are in a perfect, round shape. They're also called as obese people. Their aim is to consume as much fat foods as they can and store the energy in their body, in spite of the physical concerns which arise during the course of evolution. The reason for this is to use this energy when we finish with all the natural resources mother earth has given us.
Just imagine the yellow fat inside the obese people, would be excreted from their body to be used as fuel in our cars. The more bulkier the person, the more value he'd have. The loose fat, of some, would be converted into engine oil, healthy fat into cooking oil. And fat would also be converted into electricity.
These people have work as their primary concern than food, so just for the sake of "पापी पेट" they eat junk to make themselves feel full and satisfied. At the later stages of evolution, it becomes hard for the person to walk, climb or even work his routine. This is the stage when the fat extent is the highest, the person would be ready for fat-into-energy conversion.
"पापी पेट" is also the main reason for all the diseases as stated in Aayurveda. What we feel and look like is the result of what we eat. So, junkivores are round in shape, which is the same as a round pizza and a bulkily breaded burger.
These junkivores, would further in the future, sacrifice their partners as their shape would disrupt their partner's public image. And, some sad fat junkivores would eat more when depressed. So that would add more kilos in their already-extra weight. In some thousand years, maybe all the organs and even bones would be just fats! Everything would be fat and people would look like heavy air balloons.
I am glad, that we've not actually started eating the crispy currency notes instead of food. They would be categorised as 'moneyvorous'. Just imagine how the diet of the rich and poor would be. The rich would eat only, 500 or 1000 Rupees notes and the poor would extend their living on coins. The middle class would chew the fivers, tens, fifties and hundreds. India would have more to eat than the US or UK due to the currency difference. Foreigners would come to india just to convert their dollars or pounds into more money and satisfy their hunger.
Recently, man has evolved into 'junkivorous', which is a new phenomenal evolvement of humans. This was discovered when people were striving for money and comforts, than just food. The evolvement of 'junkivorous' mammals can be stated when the human race discovered delicious pizzas and burgers. Increment of cheese and deep fried food in these made the evolution much easier.
These junkivores have a different physique than the normal humans. They are in a perfect, round shape. They're also called as obese people. Their aim is to consume as much fat foods as they can and store the energy in their body, in spite of the physical concerns which arise during the course of evolution. The reason for this is to use this energy when we finish with all the natural resources mother earth has given us.
Just imagine the yellow fat inside the obese people, would be excreted from their body to be used as fuel in our cars. The more bulkier the person, the more value he'd have. The loose fat, of some, would be converted into engine oil, healthy fat into cooking oil. And fat would also be converted into electricity.
These people have work as their primary concern than food, so just for the sake of "पापी पेट" they eat junk to make themselves feel full and satisfied. At the later stages of evolution, it becomes hard for the person to walk, climb or even work his routine. This is the stage when the fat extent is the highest, the person would be ready for fat-into-energy conversion.
"पापी पेट" is also the main reason for all the diseases as stated in Aayurveda. What we feel and look like is the result of what we eat. So, junkivores are round in shape, which is the same as a round pizza and a bulkily breaded burger.
These junkivores, would further in the future, sacrifice their partners as their shape would disrupt their partner's public image. And, some sad fat junkivores would eat more when depressed. So that would add more kilos in their already-extra weight. In some thousand years, maybe all the organs and even bones would be just fats! Everything would be fat and people would look like heavy air balloons.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A wordy caricature
It was a fine sunny morning, when me and one of my friend planned to establish a design studio. We went to apply for the registration certificate. Here we met this hilarious personality. Some people struck a chord in your lives and you don't forget them for life. This person didn't struck any chord but did cut our pockets full of enthusiasm and money. To start with such an experience, on an auspicious occasion, made us like a 50 year old, half-bald with a huge belly and ass, saying, 'bhai humne duniya dekhi hai' with a dirty look and fake pride. This experience was as hideous as the character I am about to explain.
Age, mid 30s; sex, male; Complexion, dark. This sounds more like a 'someone missing' advertisement. I used to see these on Doordarshan every Saturday in the evening, while awaiting for the Marathi cinema at 4.00 pm. So, to proceed, his profession: he's an agent for helping to get the shop act license for starting a business without much pain in the ass. He's highly responsible for the development of our country, by helping people start their businesses without much hassle.
He runs it as his family business. I encountered it when I saw his mother handling all the cash, sitting under a luxurious umbrella on the footpath outside the license office. He is also pretty professional in his job profile, to explain: he had an ochre suitcase with papers of all his clients neatly piled up, supposedly, alphabetically.
Describing his looks, clothing and lifestyle, he was a dirty money eating caterpillar, striving on the cash of innocent leaves like us. He was half bald and on his upper head, there were some hair approximately 2 cm distant from each other. The sides of his head were abundant with hair. Half of his hectic work life went outside the registration office, in the sun, and a part of it under the table of the officers inside the registration office. Due to this and the other personal tensions, his upper head was scarcely haired. In those remaining hair, the soaring heat created tiny droplets of sweat, forming a glossy texture.
He was a proud customer of 'Manikchand gutkha'. His teeth had a complete red colour, not even pink(the mixture of white, his teeth and the red of 'gutkha') carrying the brand identity and unique style of the 'gutkha' product. His office surroundings were all drenched in those lively red squashes, which poured from his mouth like a fully flowing tap.
He was a silent and patient person and would not speak unless needed. But, as he used to open his mouth to ask for more documents, his glittery red teeth and the lovely smell of 'gutkha' used to make our eyes red. Thanks for those who invented handkerchiefs, or else we wouldn't have survived chatting with him.
His voice was comparable to the double lowest note of C, on a keyboard(piano), if existed. We could feel the vibrations of the sound his vocal cords made. It would have been a science lesson to study how sound vibrations work, if we were science students. Hearing his tone, I always felt itchy in my throat. I felt like pouring a litre of the liquid 'Vicks' forcefully in his mouth and end the dryness of his voice for ever.
His posture and dressing style was pretty formal. Clothes used to be neat and ironed. In those 5-6 time we met him during our work, he wore the same pant and maybe 2-3 different shirts. He was always wet with sweat. If his sweat was stored and desalinated, it would at-least quench the thirst of an entire lane.
He had a mobile phone, which, I suppose, had a facility to answer only if a person is trying for the third time. Whenever I called him for asking the progress of our work, he had a long pause before answering, as if he's giving a speech like our Respectable Former Prime Minister Vajpayeeji. If I repeated the question, he would go impatient and blurb out the answer, like squashing the red 'gutkha' out of his mouth.
One of his legs had a ligament problem, I suppose, as he didn't walk normally. That might be a result of slipping off the red pond of saliva surrounding his office space.
His mother was 10 times fat than him. I suspect, she ate food and he ate 'manikchand gutkha'. 2 packets for breakfast, 4 for lunch and 3 for dinner, with a glass of water.
This, Mr. Agent is unforgettable in my memories because of his slummy character, poor attitude, corrupt mind, and greedy approach. But is he the one responsible for it? Or is it the situation he faced and saw his entire life made him like this? That's a hard question to answer!
Age, mid 30s; sex, male; Complexion, dark. This sounds more like a 'someone missing' advertisement. I used to see these on Doordarshan every Saturday in the evening, while awaiting for the Marathi cinema at 4.00 pm. So, to proceed, his profession: he's an agent for helping to get the shop act license for starting a business without much pain in the ass. He's highly responsible for the development of our country, by helping people start their businesses without much hassle.
He runs it as his family business. I encountered it when I saw his mother handling all the cash, sitting under a luxurious umbrella on the footpath outside the license office. He is also pretty professional in his job profile, to explain: he had an ochre suitcase with papers of all his clients neatly piled up, supposedly, alphabetically.
Describing his looks, clothing and lifestyle, he was a dirty money eating caterpillar, striving on the cash of innocent leaves like us. He was half bald and on his upper head, there were some hair approximately 2 cm distant from each other. The sides of his head were abundant with hair. Half of his hectic work life went outside the registration office, in the sun, and a part of it under the table of the officers inside the registration office. Due to this and the other personal tensions, his upper head was scarcely haired. In those remaining hair, the soaring heat created tiny droplets of sweat, forming a glossy texture.
He was a proud customer of 'Manikchand gutkha'. His teeth had a complete red colour, not even pink(the mixture of white, his teeth and the red of 'gutkha') carrying the brand identity and unique style of the 'gutkha' product. His office surroundings were all drenched in those lively red squashes, which poured from his mouth like a fully flowing tap.
He was a silent and patient person and would not speak unless needed. But, as he used to open his mouth to ask for more documents, his glittery red teeth and the lovely smell of 'gutkha' used to make our eyes red. Thanks for those who invented handkerchiefs, or else we wouldn't have survived chatting with him.
His voice was comparable to the double lowest note of C, on a keyboard(piano), if existed. We could feel the vibrations of the sound his vocal cords made. It would have been a science lesson to study how sound vibrations work, if we were science students. Hearing his tone, I always felt itchy in my throat. I felt like pouring a litre of the liquid 'Vicks' forcefully in his mouth and end the dryness of his voice for ever.
His posture and dressing style was pretty formal. Clothes used to be neat and ironed. In those 5-6 time we met him during our work, he wore the same pant and maybe 2-3 different shirts. He was always wet with sweat. If his sweat was stored and desalinated, it would at-least quench the thirst of an entire lane.
He had a mobile phone, which, I suppose, had a facility to answer only if a person is trying for the third time. Whenever I called him for asking the progress of our work, he had a long pause before answering, as if he's giving a speech like our Respectable Former Prime Minister Vajpayeeji. If I repeated the question, he would go impatient and blurb out the answer, like squashing the red 'gutkha' out of his mouth.
One of his legs had a ligament problem, I suppose, as he didn't walk normally. That might be a result of slipping off the red pond of saliva surrounding his office space.
His mother was 10 times fat than him. I suspect, she ate food and he ate 'manikchand gutkha'. 2 packets for breakfast, 4 for lunch and 3 for dinner, with a glass of water.
This, Mr. Agent is unforgettable in my memories because of his slummy character, poor attitude, corrupt mind, and greedy approach. But is he the one responsible for it? Or is it the situation he faced and saw his entire life made him like this? That's a hard question to answer!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Summing practicality in fiction
Recently, I was watching a documentary on BBC, "triumph and tragedy" which was based on the NASA experiments. It showed all the achievements and failures of NASA, from landing on the moon to orbiting the earth in a space shuttle.
It focussed on the challenges and efforts of making a space shuttle, which can be reused to save millions of dollars. The process of getting out of the earth's orbit needs tonnes of fuel and re-entering suffers tonnes of heat. So tiling the space shuttle with heat resistant tiles was essential. The last tragedy in 2004 when, the crew on board the space shuttle, including the legendary Indian woman, Kalpana Chawla, in NASA's reusable space shuttle fell prey to the excessive heat which entered the space shuttle through a broken tile and destroyed it, including the crew, into hundreds of pieces. That was a big tragedy.
While watching the documentary, an abrupt thought struck my mind. What if superman was in real! Now you would think that I'd say that for saving the space shuttle. NO! I thought, he was resistant to almost everything, including fire, but his clothes? I suspect: no! We have seen him going out and entering the earth's orbit a thousand times, in the repeat telecasts of his movies on HBO. So, my point of concern is, if he was real, then he would require new clothes every time he entered the earth's atmosphere, as those would turn into ashes in the 1500 Degrees of soaring heat. He's resistant even to sun, so even his pubic hair would remain cool as the Himalayan ice, but his clothes? This is the question!
What if, Iron man was here working on the development of his latest suit? NASA wouldn't be there, because, Mr. Tony Stark would reach even the sun, with his astonishing, high speed, one manned, universal shuttle. Though, he would certainly need a space caravan behind him to rest and store his food and supplies.
Ok, lets forget about the western super heroes, and think about our own, "Shaktimaan." Though, he's a colour Xerox copy of Superman, with some spicy addition of ancient, Indian spirituality lessons, like attaining 'siddhis' with meditation, and enduring the supernatural powers, and a spin travel, rather than going in a normal and straight way. He would've obviously fainted a hundred times if he was in real. He has orbited the earth for a thousand times, almost in all his episodes. In his case of re-entering the earth's atmosphere, he would also need a couple of thousand costumes, to start his work without any delay, and a towel to hide his sensory organs immediately after he reaches the earth's atmosphere.
To make the lives of these super heroes simple, I would've suggested them to tile their clothes, with those resistant tiles used in the space shuttle by NASA, or make a towel out of them, to hide in till they dress up with their original costumes after getting home.
It focussed on the challenges and efforts of making a space shuttle, which can be reused to save millions of dollars. The process of getting out of the earth's orbit needs tonnes of fuel and re-entering suffers tonnes of heat. So tiling the space shuttle with heat resistant tiles was essential. The last tragedy in 2004 when, the crew on board the space shuttle, including the legendary Indian woman, Kalpana Chawla, in NASA's reusable space shuttle fell prey to the excessive heat which entered the space shuttle through a broken tile and destroyed it, including the crew, into hundreds of pieces. That was a big tragedy.
While watching the documentary, an abrupt thought struck my mind. What if superman was in real! Now you would think that I'd say that for saving the space shuttle. NO! I thought, he was resistant to almost everything, including fire, but his clothes? I suspect: no! We have seen him going out and entering the earth's orbit a thousand times, in the repeat telecasts of his movies on HBO. So, my point of concern is, if he was real, then he would require new clothes every time he entered the earth's atmosphere, as those would turn into ashes in the 1500 Degrees of soaring heat. He's resistant even to sun, so even his pubic hair would remain cool as the Himalayan ice, but his clothes? This is the question!
What if, Iron man was here working on the development of his latest suit? NASA wouldn't be there, because, Mr. Tony Stark would reach even the sun, with his astonishing, high speed, one manned, universal shuttle. Though, he would certainly need a space caravan behind him to rest and store his food and supplies.
Ok, lets forget about the western super heroes, and think about our own, "Shaktimaan." Though, he's a colour Xerox copy of Superman, with some spicy addition of ancient, Indian spirituality lessons, like attaining 'siddhis' with meditation, and enduring the supernatural powers, and a spin travel, rather than going in a normal and straight way. He would've obviously fainted a hundred times if he was in real. He has orbited the earth for a thousand times, almost in all his episodes. In his case of re-entering the earth's atmosphere, he would also need a couple of thousand costumes, to start his work without any delay, and a towel to hide his sensory organs immediately after he reaches the earth's atmosphere.
To make the lives of these super heroes simple, I would've suggested them to tile their clothes, with those resistant tiles used in the space shuttle by NASA, or make a towel out of them, to hide in till they dress up with their original costumes after getting home.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
SOS/help/F1
Help! All the wise humans are preaching since ages, that we must help each other in good deeds, but the scenario is not the same today. I tried to do some research in this area and plotted down some of my findings. Use of heavy academic lingo like, research and all makes the crap sound evidential.
These days, we have help any where anytime! Life has become so easy. In the US we have 911, in the UK we have 999 and in India we have two or three lines, distributed in their own specialities, as far as I know, the 100 is the police, 101 is for fire brigade and ambulance, I guess. The ones who have experienced a trauma might have by-hearted these numbers. There are companies providing help for a car breakdown, if it does, in an area synonymous to the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic region. We find help in softwares, which is the F1 key. I've also encountered some senseless comics like a drowning person shouting F1 from the sea. Then I've seen some of the NGO's stating SOS planet earth, save trees, save water. Some also feel that drinking beer would be an option of saving water. So everything, everyone needs help and help is everywhere!
Sometimes, can create problems in relationships. Although, help helps in making up relationships, but it also makes them complex. To make it simple I tried to sophisticate it in two formulae, the first one is: Girl + Help = Boy + Infatuation. In this formula, if a girl tries to help a boy, the boy takes it as her interest in him and he gets infatuated with her. This creates a misunderstanding, sometimes ending in a red mark on the guy's face or some earth on his cheeks.
The other formula is exactly opposite of the first one! It goes: Boy + Help = Girl + Suspicion. Elaborating it defines that: if a boy tries to help a girl, the girl can assume that he's interested in her and she tries to ignore him, which can puzzle the guy.
Help can also make up relations. This can be explained like, if a guy helps an old woman cross a busy street, or save a puppy, wandering on a busy highway, in front of his girlfriend, she can get impressed! I had tried to impress my ex. by evacuating a puppy from the middle of a highway, but it ended in impressing the mother of that puppy who chased me for a mile. I luckily escaped 14 injections, possibly some in my belly.
So help has advantages and disadvantages as we saw. We help agents outside any of the government offices to do our work, in that we help save our time. By saving our time we work more at office which helps our job, which helps ours as well as that agent's family. This helps in getting those government officers more corrupted, and eventually it helps in the contribution of the underdevelopment of our nation. So again, help is everywhere, may it be negative.
So folks, help and get help, but only for good deeds!
These days, we have help any where anytime! Life has become so easy. In the US we have 911, in the UK we have 999 and in India we have two or three lines, distributed in their own specialities, as far as I know, the 100 is the police, 101 is for fire brigade and ambulance, I guess. The ones who have experienced a trauma might have by-hearted these numbers. There are companies providing help for a car breakdown, if it does, in an area synonymous to the Sahara dessert or the Antarctic region. We find help in softwares, which is the F1 key. I've also encountered some senseless comics like a drowning person shouting F1 from the sea. Then I've seen some of the NGO's stating SOS planet earth, save trees, save water. Some also feel that drinking beer would be an option of saving water. So everything, everyone needs help and help is everywhere!
Sometimes, can create problems in relationships. Although, help helps in making up relationships, but it also makes them complex. To make it simple I tried to sophisticate it in two formulae, the first one is: Girl + Help = Boy + Infatuation. In this formula, if a girl tries to help a boy, the boy takes it as her interest in him and he gets infatuated with her. This creates a misunderstanding, sometimes ending in a red mark on the guy's face or some earth on his cheeks.
The other formula is exactly opposite of the first one! It goes: Boy + Help = Girl + Suspicion. Elaborating it defines that: if a boy tries to help a girl, the girl can assume that he's interested in her and she tries to ignore him, which can puzzle the guy.
Help can also make up relations. This can be explained like, if a guy helps an old woman cross a busy street, or save a puppy, wandering on a busy highway, in front of his girlfriend, she can get impressed! I had tried to impress my ex. by evacuating a puppy from the middle of a highway, but it ended in impressing the mother of that puppy who chased me for a mile. I luckily escaped 14 injections, possibly some in my belly.
So help has advantages and disadvantages as we saw. We help agents outside any of the government offices to do our work, in that we help save our time. By saving our time we work more at office which helps our job, which helps ours as well as that agent's family. This helps in getting those government officers more corrupted, and eventually it helps in the contribution of the underdevelopment of our nation. So again, help is everywhere, may it be negative.
So folks, help and get help, but only for good deeds!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Commode
This issue can sound a bit vulgar, but everyone knows and feels the same from inside. Some express some don't! I am the one who wants to express my insights about it and its relations with the world.
Commode is an essential commodity in our lives, not just for the excretion of poop, but also for draining out the most important thoughts, decisions of our lives. Shitting is the only time when we're completely with ourselves. As experts say that one must completely concentrate on the activity and must not listen to any music or even read while in the process. I assume that it is because it might disturb the creative thinking, we're into, during that particular period.
I suspect, the geniuses would have discovered this activity as a self brainstorming session before discovering or inventing out-of-the-world ideas and concepts. One gag I remember, read in some forwarded email, which said, Isaac Newton discovered gravity after an apple fell off from the tree on his head, while sleeping below the tree. But, why didn't he discover it while shitting every morning? I suspect he'd have got the discovery calculated while emptying his bowels, but just to make the discovery sophisticated and to be able to explain it to young children he disguised his findings in an apple.
I think, that Mr. Thomas Edison wanted to light his toilet during the dark winters, which can be the reason which motivated his invention. Although, I am approximately sure about the invention of a motion picture camera, I am damn sure that he invented the phonograph to make those everyday 10-15 minutes enjoyable.
The commode has also created a lot of competition amongst the design of it and mainly the tissue papers. Whenever I roam around in a mall, I think why the hell they have a scented tissue roll with the picture of roses? Who the hell is gonna smell your ass after wiping it? Some cynics might do it, you never know!
The sound of flush is like the sound of those pleasant sea waves, but like a fast-forwarded sound-clip or a worn out, old cassette. I think that can be an inspiration for music composers to make something unique other than stealing pieces.
I don't think there's much inspiration or motivation for painters as they'll find only one colour, you know which one. But Graphic designers can learn from it as they're accustomed to work with strict briefs and tight measurements. So here's the sample of motivated brief: you've one colour. Design!
I've heard that people in Germany first look at the toilet and then the rest of the house while buying a property! I wonder what exactly they look for? The design of commode, its cleanliness or the creative environment to make most out of the daily 15 minutes.
I think India is still a developing country, not because of the corruption but because, in the glittery houses of the government authorities, it misses the breathing space of the toilet! It doesn't have the creative environment for them to think and make decisions. The dark yellow ochre accumulated around the space and the increasing smell of ammonia makes life more difficult.
You might think that I am writing this blog sitting on the commode, but please mind it that, that space is only for thinking processes and not for work!
Commode is an essential commodity in our lives, not just for the excretion of poop, but also for draining out the most important thoughts, decisions of our lives. Shitting is the only time when we're completely with ourselves. As experts say that one must completely concentrate on the activity and must not listen to any music or even read while in the process. I assume that it is because it might disturb the creative thinking, we're into, during that particular period.
I suspect, the geniuses would have discovered this activity as a self brainstorming session before discovering or inventing out-of-the-world ideas and concepts. One gag I remember, read in some forwarded email, which said, Isaac Newton discovered gravity after an apple fell off from the tree on his head, while sleeping below the tree. But, why didn't he discover it while shitting every morning? I suspect he'd have got the discovery calculated while emptying his bowels, but just to make the discovery sophisticated and to be able to explain it to young children he disguised his findings in an apple.
I think, that Mr. Thomas Edison wanted to light his toilet during the dark winters, which can be the reason which motivated his invention. Although, I am approximately sure about the invention of a motion picture camera, I am damn sure that he invented the phonograph to make those everyday 10-15 minutes enjoyable.
The commode has also created a lot of competition amongst the design of it and mainly the tissue papers. Whenever I roam around in a mall, I think why the hell they have a scented tissue roll with the picture of roses? Who the hell is gonna smell your ass after wiping it? Some cynics might do it, you never know!
The sound of flush is like the sound of those pleasant sea waves, but like a fast-forwarded sound-clip or a worn out, old cassette. I think that can be an inspiration for music composers to make something unique other than stealing pieces.
I don't think there's much inspiration or motivation for painters as they'll find only one colour, you know which one. But Graphic designers can learn from it as they're accustomed to work with strict briefs and tight measurements. So here's the sample of motivated brief: you've one colour. Design!
I've heard that people in Germany first look at the toilet and then the rest of the house while buying a property! I wonder what exactly they look for? The design of commode, its cleanliness or the creative environment to make most out of the daily 15 minutes.
I think India is still a developing country, not because of the corruption but because, in the glittery houses of the government authorities, it misses the breathing space of the toilet! It doesn't have the creative environment for them to think and make decisions. The dark yellow ochre accumulated around the space and the increasing smell of ammonia makes life more difficult.
You might think that I am writing this blog sitting on the commode, but please mind it that, that space is only for thinking processes and not for work!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Westernisation
Westernisation is not globalisation, my experiences says, its when...
the IT industry buy employees, and fat assholes eat 'McDonalds'
English is for status, even if without the sense of 'a' or 'an'
flattering relatives abroad, even if the one is cleaning toilets,
miniskirts reveal fat legs and faces have an ugly shade,
Americans struggle for obesity and Indians for pizzas and burgers,
adoption of eliminated brands of the west,
harmonium is for geeks and guitar speaks the passion of music,
a t-shirt stating USA is a brand in itself,
young know all the American English albums and genres in music,
its when Indian employers lick English and suck the local dialect,
and in spite of understanding that, "we lick the west",
we're fakers in disguise boasting our cultures and traditions,
some do understand the situation, but those are just 'some'
our democratic institution which we deploy, shows it all!
the IT industry buy employees, and fat assholes eat 'McDonalds'
English is for status, even if without the sense of 'a' or 'an'
flattering relatives abroad, even if the one is cleaning toilets,
miniskirts reveal fat legs and faces have an ugly shade,
Americans struggle for obesity and Indians for pizzas and burgers,
adoption of eliminated brands of the west,
harmonium is for geeks and guitar speaks the passion of music,
a t-shirt stating USA is a brand in itself,
young know all the American English albums and genres in music,
its when Indian employers lick English and suck the local dialect,
and in spite of understanding that, "we lick the west",
we're fakers in disguise boasting our cultures and traditions,
some do understand the situation, but those are just 'some'
our democratic institution which we deploy, shows it all!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Hindu Vs. Muslim, or Hindu and Muslim?
It has been a long time after my last post. I have been watching a couple of old movies, Bombay, 1995 and Black and White, 2008 this week. After that, I had a chat with one of my elderly friend in the family, discussing the issue of Hindu vs. Muslims. It all started with two of my best friends, a girl and a boy, who are in love with each other and are forced to be apart just for the sake of religion.
The discussion started when I asked, what's the problem in a Hindu, Brahmin girl getting married to a Muslim boy? Why is it always meant to be a disastrous phenomenon for both the families? Then, I answered myself, when myself as a Brahmin is forbidden to marry a lower caste girl in Hindu religion, then it's an issue of inter-religious marriage ceremony. Although, some open minded and educated families do accept such relationships, as it used to be said; these days all the families act open-minded and are highly educated but offend the inter-religious affairs.
The next question asked to me was, how would they adjust with each of their religious views, rituals, traditions, etc.? I feel that if we have a positive attitude throughout our lives, we can enjoy both the religions, experience and understand the beliefs and respect both the religions. I love being a Brahmin and Hinduism, but there's always been a hidden enthusiasm of visiting a mosque. I am not expressing it because I have raised this issue, but it's true! Many, might have this feeling.
Later, why did the girl chose a Muslim person to love? Are all the Brahmins in this world dead? Was asked. How can someone decide whom to love? I said. Some people do try it, but it's usually known as infatuation. Loving someone on their looks and style is kind of a contract of one year, as science has proven that infatuation lasts no more than a year, its due to some 'chemical locha'. In the case of my friends, they haven't actually had an affair, she's saying no and he's not empowering him on her, but both of them know they're made for each other. If it was an infatuation, it wouldn't last for 4 years.
I do not agree with the character of that girl, was told to me! I was outraged by that supposition. Is she bad because she cared for her parents? Is it because she didn't want to go against her parents' wishes? Or, is it because she didn't flirt with him, in spite of the uncertainty of their relationship? The other things, like wearing a short skirt, exposing outfits or huge makeup, were also not applicable to her. So, in which angle should the girl be perceived as bad?
I am with them no matter what. It's the problem of love and not religion. According to me, these are never ending questions. Although, in Hinduism and Islam, the first man and woman were different in their respective religion, practically speaking, I am thankful that this belief system emerged far later after the first man and woman, or else human race won't exist.
The discussion started when I asked, what's the problem in a Hindu, Brahmin girl getting married to a Muslim boy? Why is it always meant to be a disastrous phenomenon for both the families? Then, I answered myself, when myself as a Brahmin is forbidden to marry a lower caste girl in Hindu religion, then it's an issue of inter-religious marriage ceremony. Although, some open minded and educated families do accept such relationships, as it used to be said; these days all the families act open-minded and are highly educated but offend the inter-religious affairs.
The next question asked to me was, how would they adjust with each of their religious views, rituals, traditions, etc.? I feel that if we have a positive attitude throughout our lives, we can enjoy both the religions, experience and understand the beliefs and respect both the religions. I love being a Brahmin and Hinduism, but there's always been a hidden enthusiasm of visiting a mosque. I am not expressing it because I have raised this issue, but it's true! Many, might have this feeling.
Later, why did the girl chose a Muslim person to love? Are all the Brahmins in this world dead? Was asked. How can someone decide whom to love? I said. Some people do try it, but it's usually known as infatuation. Loving someone on their looks and style is kind of a contract of one year, as science has proven that infatuation lasts no more than a year, its due to some 'chemical locha'. In the case of my friends, they haven't actually had an affair, she's saying no and he's not empowering him on her, but both of them know they're made for each other. If it was an infatuation, it wouldn't last for 4 years.
I do not agree with the character of that girl, was told to me! I was outraged by that supposition. Is she bad because she cared for her parents? Is it because she didn't want to go against her parents' wishes? Or, is it because she didn't flirt with him, in spite of the uncertainty of their relationship? The other things, like wearing a short skirt, exposing outfits or huge makeup, were also not applicable to her. So, in which angle should the girl be perceived as bad?
I am with them no matter what. It's the problem of love and not religion. According to me, these are never ending questions. Although, in Hinduism and Islam, the first man and woman were different in their respective religion, practically speaking, I am thankful that this belief system emerged far later after the first man and woman, or else human race won't exist.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Busy
You'd wonder, why I am not writing?
But really, I am fighting!
A fight for writing,
a two thousand five hundred word periling,
which would either lead to enlightening,
or would be a path of detaining.
I know you won't see me struggling,
hence I've taken a short break in blogging!
But really, I am fighting!
A fight for writing,
a two thousand five hundred word periling,
which would either lead to enlightening,
or would be a path of detaining.
I know you won't see me struggling,
hence I've taken a short break in blogging!
Monday, April 13, 2009
A conversation with my mind
From the city of east's oxford, up till the western world of discovery,
my mind hovers in the boundaries of cacophony.
I ask, what do you want?
It says, a world out of logic and creative freedom.
What about the monetary conspiracies? I ask.
I am not bounded with physics of humanity, I want to break free, he adds.
What's the merit of commitments and relations, I aphorise.
Do they prioritise the same as I do? He reciprocates.
I ask, what about the guardians, the dearest ones?
I behold the responsibility, but question their need,
are they materialistic or interest in the happiness of deed? He's quick.
I admit of being blinded with a straight vision,
he asks me to broaden it wide and view the world in cohesion .
I ask, where's the treasure of gaiety and fun?
Is it in having a girlfriend and tun?
He says, having a girlfriend is doubling the cacophony,
and having a tun is a fluttering morality.
Both are comparable to a poison of slow death,
because one hammers my sister, the lever, and the other leads me to death.
Stunned by the answer, and apparent recalling the past,
so what's the real treasure? I ask.
See the wild and live the while,
sit in the sun and run in the sand,
find pleasures in what's in your hand, he replies.
Elaboration is the next, I add.
He went on with his questionnaire,
When did you run, jump and play the last?
When did you unite with peers for the last?
When did you trash your anguish for the last?
When did you help a needed in the past?
The questions you arise, the answers lies in the same.
I was pleased by the solutions which came,
I felt that, fame and name is a game,
everybody desires a victory, but a few remain.
Not all in them look like what we see,
They come in this world and depend on destiny,
They seek higher destinations, materials and money,
but they die in the end from agony.
Satisfied with the answers given by my mind,
I continue my life in a different kind.
my mind hovers in the boundaries of cacophony.
I ask, what do you want?
It says, a world out of logic and creative freedom.
What about the monetary conspiracies? I ask.
I am not bounded with physics of humanity, I want to break free, he adds.
What's the merit of commitments and relations, I aphorise.
Do they prioritise the same as I do? He reciprocates.
I ask, what about the guardians, the dearest ones?
I behold the responsibility, but question their need,
are they materialistic or interest in the happiness of deed? He's quick.
I admit of being blinded with a straight vision,
he asks me to broaden it wide and view the world in cohesion .
I ask, where's the treasure of gaiety and fun?
Is it in having a girlfriend and tun?
He says, having a girlfriend is doubling the cacophony,
and having a tun is a fluttering morality.
Both are comparable to a poison of slow death,
because one hammers my sister, the lever, and the other leads me to death.
Stunned by the answer, and apparent recalling the past,
so what's the real treasure? I ask.
See the wild and live the while,
sit in the sun and run in the sand,
find pleasures in what's in your hand, he replies.
Elaboration is the next, I add.
He went on with his questionnaire,
When did you run, jump and play the last?
When did you unite with peers for the last?
When did you trash your anguish for the last?
When did you help a needed in the past?
The questions you arise, the answers lies in the same.
I was pleased by the solutions which came,
I felt that, fame and name is a game,
everybody desires a victory, but a few remain.
Not all in them look like what we see,
They come in this world and depend on destiny,
They seek higher destinations, materials and money,
but they die in the end from agony.
Satisfied with the answers given by my mind,
I continue my life in a different kind.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Rhyme time
What's more irritating than peeling off a garlic clove's skin?
What's more frustrating than waiting patiently for a kin?
What's more deadly than falsely admiring people's hover?
What's more painful than drowning, because someone's over?
What's more kind than giving one an encouraging gear?
What's more pleasing than embracing one's fear?
What's higher than a peak's last step?
A fruitful life or a life full of debt?
What's interesting than an entertaining flick?
An entertainment gear at one's place, or an adventurous pick?
Am I going in a right way?
Is it coming on as a proper day?
Why are questions to be asked?
Why would humans fall in the reasoning task?
There are more questions waiting for a rhyme,
but I am out of time!
What's more frustrating than waiting patiently for a kin?
What's more deadly than falsely admiring people's hover?
What's more painful than drowning, because someone's over?
What's more kind than giving one an encouraging gear?
What's more pleasing than embracing one's fear?
What's higher than a peak's last step?
A fruitful life or a life full of debt?
What's interesting than an entertaining flick?
An entertainment gear at one's place, or an adventurous pick?
Am I going in a right way?
Is it coming on as a proper day?
Why are questions to be asked?
Why would humans fall in the reasoning task?
There are more questions waiting for a rhyme,
but I am out of time!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Day dreaming
I don't know if everybody experiences the same, but I do sometimes dream during the day, with eyes wide open and conscious mind in action. Its sometimes weird, how mind wanders around varied subjects, and comes to a certain point when we realise and giggle on the visuals we encounter and ask ourselves to come back in the real world.
Yesterday, I was thinking about the rules and regulations for the public and the mindsets of the people here. I became patriotic, thinking about the situation back home, the increasing poverty and need of a developed infrastructure, etc. Then the thought went towards how can things be developed? While surfing through the bbc news website, I found a page where different people across India, from grocer to a software engineer, had expressed their views about what would be their position in the development of the nation if they were offered the position of the Prime Minister.
I started thinking about what my initiatives would be after becoming the PM. The first thing came in my mind was the roads. I thought of the developing the roads in the cities and highways connecting them, which would eventually contribute to the nations economy by ease of transport, decreased transport time and increase in fuel efficiency. Then I started thinking about the contractors whom these jobs are handed over by the government. I visualised the scenario of the Pune roads in the aftermath of the heavy rains. I thought about the corruption executed behind the scenes.
I then visualised a scene in the Marathi flick, 'Dombivili Fast', the scene of a corrupt tanker guy. Then the thought went to the ineffective water reservation in the city. Then I started comparing the efficiency of water here and back home, and I suddenly remembered someone telling me about the filtration of water in the UK, which is, I suppose, seven times the process in Pune.
Till here the story was about the development of nation, patriotism and change, but it started taking a unique mode. I recalled one of my friend's friend, who used to drink the tap water, which was told to me by a friend. He also told me about his friend's hectic lifestyle in here, due to a part-time job and studies, which eventually resulted in strong depression due to isolation. I then thought about my life since I've come here, which is not at all bad, I murmured in satisfaction.
Then I recalled the degree show I had visited in the first week of my study. There was a research presentation, which was on design against depression and suicidal behaviour. I thought how would design change one's behaviour, towards suicidal feelings. I felt that this topic is related to my current Master's project in some way. My Master's project is on, 'how can online social networking website help people unite and build up their confidence'.
Thinking about confidence, I recalled the days in my under graduation, when I had built up some muscles and was feeling confident to socialise, which wasn't the same before. I thought of exercising and muscle building. I remembered a video of Aamir Khan building up his muscles, and the way he was determined and disciplined for a year to get the perfect shape.
I thought of making a timetable of my daily routine and include exercise in it. Timetable made me think about the last attempts of mine to follow a strict routine, and failing them in spite of writing it boldly and putting it on the display board in my room.
Thinking about the display board, I recollected the coming presentation, which was based on the display of our spaces in the studio. I need to prepare for it, I thought.
Leaving for the studio, I giggled about the 'mind wandering' process I was going through, and told myself, "Welcome to reality again."
Yesterday, I was thinking about the rules and regulations for the public and the mindsets of the people here. I became patriotic, thinking about the situation back home, the increasing poverty and need of a developed infrastructure, etc. Then the thought went towards how can things be developed? While surfing through the bbc news website, I found a page where different people across India, from grocer to a software engineer, had expressed their views about what would be their position in the development of the nation if they were offered the position of the Prime Minister.
I started thinking about what my initiatives would be after becoming the PM. The first thing came in my mind was the roads. I thought of the developing the roads in the cities and highways connecting them, which would eventually contribute to the nations economy by ease of transport, decreased transport time and increase in fuel efficiency. Then I started thinking about the contractors whom these jobs are handed over by the government. I visualised the scenario of the Pune roads in the aftermath of the heavy rains. I thought about the corruption executed behind the scenes.
I then visualised a scene in the Marathi flick, 'Dombivili Fast', the scene of a corrupt tanker guy. Then the thought went to the ineffective water reservation in the city. Then I started comparing the efficiency of water here and back home, and I suddenly remembered someone telling me about the filtration of water in the UK, which is, I suppose, seven times the process in Pune.
Till here the story was about the development of nation, patriotism and change, but it started taking a unique mode. I recalled one of my friend's friend, who used to drink the tap water, which was told to me by a friend. He also told me about his friend's hectic lifestyle in here, due to a part-time job and studies, which eventually resulted in strong depression due to isolation. I then thought about my life since I've come here, which is not at all bad, I murmured in satisfaction.
Then I recalled the degree show I had visited in the first week of my study. There was a research presentation, which was on design against depression and suicidal behaviour. I thought how would design change one's behaviour, towards suicidal feelings. I felt that this topic is related to my current Master's project in some way. My Master's project is on, 'how can online social networking website help people unite and build up their confidence'.
Thinking about confidence, I recalled the days in my under graduation, when I had built up some muscles and was feeling confident to socialise, which wasn't the same before. I thought of exercising and muscle building. I remembered a video of Aamir Khan building up his muscles, and the way he was determined and disciplined for a year to get the perfect shape.
I thought of making a timetable of my daily routine and include exercise in it. Timetable made me think about the last attempts of mine to follow a strict routine, and failing them in spite of writing it boldly and putting it on the display board in my room.
Thinking about the display board, I recollected the coming presentation, which was based on the display of our spaces in the studio. I need to prepare for it, I thought.
Leaving for the studio, I giggled about the 'mind wandering' process I was going through, and told myself, "Welcome to reality again."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
